Moving to England for Dummies

1. Check your Finnish landlord's ability to speak English.

2. Not having a home deems you ineligible for a bank account, without which you're denied a phone number.

3. Bear in mind that your tenancy agreement is not a case of "tea for two".

4. Read the small print in your tenancy agreement about the liability for compensation regarding the untimely death of plants.

5. "Righty-tighty lefty-loosy" is not a universal code.

6. Grit your teeth.

7. Do not inhale the carpet unless your supply of antihistamine and tissues is sufficient.

8. Prepare yourself for the smell of chlorine in the morning.

9. Purchase your furniture unassembled.

10. Acquire a landline which you will not use.

11. Do not recycle plastic bottle caps.

12. Buy everything in a three-for-two deal.